silLy finds oUt worLd?

This hAve been A nice phase in my lifetime
From all the stuff I have been into since the past year: from my first job to my troubles at fitting into my skin -I haven't finish that task, maybe I wil never finish, but anyway I am trying not to push myself too hard- and all the rest of stuff I haven't even posted, I've learn a lot.
I Am only An average girl with average problems, but everything u live -even if not as importAnt as politics, religion, environment or how Bush is a psychopath became into a recalcitrant catholic or whatever similar- feeds.
I think that if everything do As right as I want it to do, it will be not so interesting to be alive. Instead, if I go throught some problems and have to handle my own self into a world I just don't know there will be tons of lessons and interesting episodes to check out and about.
It is weird because I alwAys feel so superficial, like everybody else hAs a huge and blooming inner world -even in the blogesphere, some people write poetry, literature, share outstanding fActs, etc, and my blog is... in brief... a silly bunch of my uninteresting dAily love / life drAmas.
Some impress others, discuss, express by artistic means their points of view, making of their blogs -for whatever reason into a big variety of possibilities- remarkable pools of public introspection.
They do like that, while mine is just me fighting with myself.

The other dAy I was thinking about the wAy people collects experiences in life so at the end they have kind of A lifestory to tell, or to be remembered for.
I wonder how could mine be, and how would I like it to be.
there's only one story to be lived here, over the earth, and whAt am I doing with mine?
is not about the pAth u decide to follow, it's all About what u do with the time u have to spend here.
Why does it seem like there's alwAys a pre-mAnufactured Answer to almost every issue About whAt life should be?
About how people should do here, About what we All need
Why there's alwAys someone showing u a pAth u gottA follow if everyone is supposed to be unique?
why if life is not only the repetition of a certain amount of processes to become whAt a happy person is considered to be And to have?
why if life is experience we All "must" do just this or thAt?
All the things people tell me only confusses me. I am me, but I should complete a perfect list of items to become into a good girl, succeed, and be remarkable as a nice person who lived well her life.
Tales about how can I be whatever somebody portrait me like. If I get late home at whenever next day after party, if I drink, if somebody see me dating that "awful long rasta haired guy!", if I try to smoke -can u people believe I haven't learn to smoke? Hahaha, only happens to me, but anywAy, at least is good, isn't it?-, if I dress like A "whore" -according to them!- or if I just cover my skin, everything is just subject of comment. if I go oUt with "who? I don't know who that one is, girl!". If I try to go anonymous I just don't have personality, but if I come with something I wanted to try or do I Am just trying to be different And get attention ... Why there's alwAys something specific people will talk About?
Isn´t there anything else to do than wAtch over other's and criticize? It happens Against all people, for any whatever reason somebody just thinks he/she as a right to bring u down, as if we all were supposed to be role models, As if role models were a useful thing -YES, THEY ARE: ROLE MODELS SUCK, THEY ARE JUST OPIUM-
I feel dorkie: I am not 15! why do they all treat me as private property? -and no, is not because of me behaving as a baby, is just because ... if I knew I would not ASk that to myself.
I just want my reflection to be me ... whatever I can result to be.